Breathe:  52 Oxygen-Rich Tools for Loving and Living Well with Autism

Gayle Nobel’s “Breathe” is a much-needed breath of refreshing air!  In this uplifting masterpiece, Gayle provides 52 simple, effective tips for reducing stress and living life to the fullest.  Whether you are caring for someone with autism or not, you are guaranteed to feel uplifted and energized—starting with the very first page!

As I read “Breathe,” my heart and soul were deeply touched by Gayle’s wisdom, joy, inspiration, courage and strength.  I am amazed and humbled by her honesty—that some days she could not find any gratitude or see any light at the end of the tunnel.  And that is ok!  We are not strong every day.  Gayle is real and honest, and all the while inspires others.  It is refreshing to know we can experience the ups and downs of life…to admit we have downs, and to find new, encouraging ways to move through them gracefully.  “Breathe” helps us to embrace the fullness of life—ups, downs, and all the moments in between.  It truly is about embracing life, regardless of what situation we’ve found ourselves in.

As a Self-Care Specialist who supports giving, caring people (many of which are parents, caregivers and helping professionals), every day I see the signs of overgiving and burnout.  My clients experience exhaustion, frustration, depression, anxiety, insomnia, health issues, etc.  I highly recommend “Breathe” as the perfect antidote to the inevitable stress that can come with caring for others.

I have seen firsthand the transformative power of Gayle’s oxygen-rich tools in my clients and myself—including “Gratitude in Action”, Laugh”, “Live Now”, and so many more.  Each tool is simple, do-able, and yet so meaningful and powerful.  Each one takes only a moment and can easily fit into a busy schedule.  One of my favorite tools is “Rest”.  As Gayle points out, it is essential to pause and rest at least once each day, even for just a moment.  This provides us the fuel we need to continue going and helping others.  One of my clients recently began pausing for 2-3 minutes in between her busy tasks to close her eyes and breathe.  Her stress levels have come down tremendously!  As Gayle teaches us, small moments add up and can truly transform our lives in beautiful, positive and surprising ways.

Reading “Breathe” is easy to fit into anyone’s busy schedule.  You can be uplifted in a matter of moments with one easy-to-read, short story and oxygen-rich tool.  Or, you can sit and read several at a time.  In today’s busy world, where fewer of us have time to sit and read, “Breathe” is a wonderful answer.  Despite my busy schedule, I found myself craving a moment to sit and read even one chapter of “Breathe”.  And each time I did, I felt uplifted, energized, and had a refreshing perspective on life.

I cannot thank Gayle Nobel enough for creating this divinely inspired, uplifting book and toolkit.  It is a must-have, not only to read once, but to refer back to any time you need a change in perspective.

Review written by Courtney Long, MSW, LC, CHt, Self-Care Specialist, owner of Caring for Your Spirit, LLC   www.caringforyourspirit.com

For more information, go to: http://www.autismwithattitude.com/

Also, check out Gayle Nobel’s inspiring Blog:  http://www.autismwithattitude.com/blog/

Hope you enjoy…. click here to read the Daily OM “Rescuing the Rescuer”

Many blessings!

Courtney

Notice how different those 2 types of giving feel. Giving authentically tends to feel uplifting, empowering, energizing. In contrast, giving out of “obligation” or “should” can feel heavy, dreadful, and often leads to anger, frustration, loss of control or even resentment.

Which way would you rather feel? Which type of giving would you like to do?

How have you noticed this in your life? I want to hear!  Leave a comment below. 

-Courtney

In my life mission of empowering Caring Warriors to engage in Tender Loving Self-Care (TLsC), the biggest brick wall I come up against is GUILT. Many caring people, parents, practitioners, caregivers and others WANT to engage in nurturing self-care. They want to get enough sleep. They want to have a massage once a month (or once a week!). They want to relax once in a while—or, better yet, on a regular basis.

Yet what holds them back? GUILT. Whenever they do something nice for themselves, which sometimes requires them being away from their loved ones or work, they feel guilty, selfish, or just plain bad.

Since when does being healthy, energized, and kind to ourselves make us bad people? I often wonder…where did this belief come from? Are we really bad people at the core? My opinion is NO WAY!

Or…are we good, caring, loving people who sometimes make mistakes? Good people in a process of learning and growing, which sometimes seems beautiful, and sometimes looks and feels pretty rocky? What if we are good people who sometimes speak in anger when our own needs are not being met? What if our value cannot be labeled a simple “good” or “bad” yet we’re still deserving of self-care anyway?

Do you really believe you’re not worthy of self-care? Not deserving of your own time and attention? Not deserving of your own love? That’s the message you unconsciously send to yourself every time you skip a meal, skimp on sleep, automatically say “yes” to others without evaluating your own needs, time & energy, or settle for something less than what you want or need.

At what point can we stop trying to prove our own worth by being overly kind and accommodating to others? At what point can we take care of ourselves too? Who are we trying to prove our worth to anyway—others or ourselves?

The moment you begin to value yourself, life starts shifting in major ways. You begin to set boundaries around your time & energy. Your guard does down a little. Frustration, tension and resentment start to melt away. Your heart fills up with love, acceptance, maybe even joy. You feel healthy & energized. You even begin to love and appreciate others more. Taking care of YOU provides you all the energy and love you need to care for others freely, happily—and without resentment.

Valuing yourself isn’t about being selfish or egotistical. It is about proper understanding of who you truly are.

Did you know that you are already perfect, whole and complete just as you are? You don’t even have to DO anything to prove this. Just by existing, just by being your wonderful self, you are perfect, whole and complete! And if you’re a Caring Warrior, even better. You already have an incredible amount of love in your heart. And you understand an incredibly important lesson…that by giving, we receive. For Caring Warriors, it’s just a matter of balancing that giving with some self-care as well!

Did you know that you are a child of God/Universe/Spirit? (or however you refer to the energy that created you) You were created for a reason! And if your creator is perfect, and you are part of it, then you must be perfect too! Dr. Wayne Dyer reminds us of one of his favorite affirmations:

“I am a unique portion of the existence of God. I originated in Spirit. I am a Divine creation, a unique piece of the whole.”

He further states, “You’ll never find the light by analyzing the darkness. Nor my own magnificence in analyzing what’s undistinguished about me.”

Who are you? What are your strengths? What is distinguished or unique about you?

What are you here on this earth to do? To be a loving, giving person? To touch lives? To make the world a better place? Well if this is the case, then you are certainly worthy and deserving of Self-Care! Do you know it? Do you feel it? If not, I’d love to chat with you.

Empowering Affirmations:

“I am worthy & deserving of Self-Care”

“I make this world a better place just by being my loving, caring self!”

“I am worthy & deserving of life, love and acceptance”

“I am perfect, whole & complete, just as I am”

“I am a divine being having a human experience and loving it!” (affirmation by Sohini Sinha,
Divineexpression.com)

“I am worthy of God’s loving and abundance.” (affirmation by Sohini Sinha, Divinexpression.com)

“I love and approve of myself!” (affirmation by Louise L. Hay)

-article by Courtney Long, MSW, LC, CHt, Self-Care Specialist

Owner of Caring for Your Spirit, LLC

 
Pam is an adoptive mother/full-time caregiver; she has 4 adult children and a 15 yr. old, several of which have special needs.  She has been a
caregiver for as long as she can remember.  Caregivers/adoptive parents
are often the unnoticed caring, giving people.  Pam's kids (who are mostly
now young adults) stand at the forefront of her life.  Combined, they face
high-functioning autism, ADHD, developmental disabilities, cerebral palsy,
anxiety, being wheelchair bound, non-verbal and requiring full-time
hands-on care.   Pam is with the kids almost 24/7, and her husband works a
ton of hours to support the family.  This means she doesn't have much
"escape" or time to herself.  

Though Pam still continues caring, with a giving, positive spirit.  Pam has given in her professional life as well.
She is a Reiki Master Teacher, Massage Therapist, and Social Worker.  To me, she is the epitome of what I
call a "Caring Warrior".  She is giving, caring, uplifting, and positive.
Even when she's feeling overwhelmed, stressed and just needs some time to
herself, she still manages to uplift others with her positive energy.
She sees the good in people.  And she helps others around her to have fun!
 She believes fun and joy are an essential part of life.   

Pam is constantly posting uplifting messages on Facebook and sharing her
inspirational messages...  (which amazes me, because if others were in
her situation, they may be extremely depressed and downtrodden!)

Here is something she recently posted on Facebook, which generated a ton
of wonderful discussion about accepting ourselves and not placing
limitations on ourselves as we age ...

"I've noticed lately how many of us put limits on ourselves when in our
hearts we know our possibilities are unlimited! I've seen many of my
friends, as we 'age' setting limits because we feel we aren't young
enough to start over...maybe we should be asking ourselves "What are we
going to regret not having done when we're 90?" As long as we're
alive we need to live!!"

Pam recently created a blog/journal for her 2 nonverbal daughters.  On
Facebook, look up "Melissas Voice".  There will also be 2 websites,
www.mydaughtersvoice.com and www.ourfamilyvoice.com.  Pam’s goal is to
give her own family a voice, allow other families with special needs an
opportunity to share their perspectives, and build an uplifting and
supportive community.  The blog will address special needs, adoption, the
need for humor, different therapies such as occupational, physical and
speech, etc. Pam’s hope is to give people a peek into the day to day life
of a person who is almost completely dependent on someone else for all
their basic needs.

Pam is a perfect choice for the Natural Face of Caring.  Her family is so
lucky to have her, and so is everyone else whose lives Pam touches.  Pam
is absolutely beautiful, inside and out.  Her inner beauty shines and
radiates from her.

-by Courtney Long, MSW, LC, CHt, Self-Care Specialist
Owner of Caring for Your Spirit, LLC

Guest article by Elmas Vincent, Lightpreneurs Guru

Some of you may know that I am giving myself a birthday present this year. By my birthday, May 25^th, I will be 155lbs and in shape for the first time in many years. I did the Master Cleanse back in November and shed 15lbs and kept all but 2 off. But, I was still at 184lbs. I have launched my birthday gift by going back through the cleanse, and, as of this writing, have already shed over 5lbs. When I finish with the cleanse, I am going through a nutrition and exercise program to take me to my goal. But, it actually encompasses a lot more than just the physical aspects.

The reason I bring this up is that it is an important reminder. We must take care of ourselves first, BEFORE we can take care of anything else. This was a lesson I had forgotten and could not figure out why I was not fully back where I wanted to be. After hanging out with Courtney Long of Caring For Your Spirit, the lesson came back to me.

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” Abraham Lincoln.

President Lincoln is referring to how it is more important for your tools to be ready for the task at hand than the actual doing of the task. You are the most valuable tool you posses. If you allow yourself to become dull, how effective are you at performing the task whether it be parenting, caring for someone else, or doing a business?

There are many ways we can allow ourselves to become dull. By not taking care of myself physically, I had become dull and lacking in energy and stamina to do my business to the level I would like to hold myself accountable. We can allow ourselves to become dull mentally. I am a big proponent of constantly learning by reading and going to seminars. By allowing myself to be “too busy”, I stopped doing those things and found myself growing mentally dull. By doing this, I was not as mentally sharp and working through tasks was taking longer and longer. Spiritually we can grow dull also. This can drain our soul and prevent us from hearing the true voice of intuition. This can block us from our true path and lead to much difficulty in life. I found myself “not having time” to meditate and recharge spiritually which has led to me taking the long way around in many aspects of my life.

What I have found over the last few weeks is that just making the time to sharpen myself has allowed me to give so much more to my family. I can give so much more to my business. Taking care of me provides so much more of me to give.

What can you do to sharpen yourself?  What can you do for yourself physically, mentally, spiritually to create more of you to give?

Elmas Vincent, the Lightpreneurs Guru, can be reached at www.lightpreneur.com

]]> http://www.caringforyourspirit.com/2010/04/your-best-tool/feed/ 0 http://www.caringforyourspirit.com/2010/03/are-you-a-caring-warrior/ http://www.caringforyourspirit.com/2010/03/are-you-a-caring-warrior/#comments Mon, 29 Mar 2010 20:55:13 +0000 CaringforYourSpirit http://www.caringforyourspirit.com/?p=219

Caring Warrior

A Caring Warrior is a compassionate, giving, at times selfless person who tends to put everyone’s else’s needs before their own.  They display strength and courage in caring for others, advocating for others’ needs, and engaging in their own self-care.  They tend to manage multiple tasks, roles & responsibilities all at once (ex. being a mother, daughter, employee, caregiver, partner, friend, community member, etc.).

Caring Warriors often face their own health issues, sleep difficulties, exhaustion and/or high levels of stress.  Yet they press on, because their family, friends, coworkers, clients, neighbors, etc. need and are counting on them.  Because Caring Warriors put so much time and energy into caring for others, their own self-care and relaxation tend to fall down the “to-do” list.  They have great intentions and want to be healthy and energized.  In fact, they try their best, yet they often struggle finding time for self-care.

Caring Warriors must be brave and courageous enough to engage in nurturing self-care.  Their well-being is extremely important, because if they are not healthy, balanced, and energized, they cannot effectively care for others!  The healthier and happier Caring Warriors are, the more everyone around them benefits.

Are YOU a Caring Warrior?

I want to hear!

Do you wish you had more time to relax and do the things you love?  Yet you find yourself busy taking care of others first?

Do you ever feel frustrated or angry that at the end of the day, there’s little time or energy left for you?

Imagine a secret place where you feel pampered and cared for. All stress and responsibilities just melt away, and you have permission to truly relax, enjoy and fill up your cup—without guilt!  This secret place rejuvenates you and gives you all the time and energy you need to be an effective Caring Warrior.

Caring for Your Spirit guides you in making this uplifting, secret place a reality in your daily life.

As a Self-Care Specialist and Caring Warrior herself, Courtney Long teaches you how to make tiny action steps toward your own self-care—so you can let go of stress, reclaim your life again, and be a healthy, energized and effective Caring Warrior!

So…  here are my questions to you…

Does this speak to your emotions? Does it make you jump off your seat and say “yes”? Or leave you feeling indifferent? Anything confusing in it?  Does the secret place sound intriguing or appealing to you? Any other suggestions or thoughts?   Please leave your feedback!  Thanks!!

When is the last time you did something kind for yourself?  Such as going to your favorite coffee shop, or having an entire afternoon of complete relaxation or fun.

When it comes down to it, do you love you?

Almost all religions and spiritual practices emphasize the importance of love and compassion.  In Christianity, the Bible teaches “These things I command you, that ye love one another” (John 15:17).    The Bahá’í teachings state that Bahá’ís should love all humans regardless of religion, race or community, and also should love their enemies.  Buddhism teaches the importance of loving-kindness and compassion; love is unconditional and requires courage and acceptance (including self-acceptance).

Most religions do a wonderful job of teaching us to love our neighbors, family, friends, and even our enemies.  But what about loving ourselves?

Most of my clients find it quite easy to love others.  They care for their children, partners, parents, coworkers, neighbors, etc.  They are always giving and loving others.  Their biggest challenge is in loving themselves.

My biggest question is—how can we give love to others, if we don’t know love within ourselves?  It has been said many times that a person cannot be a great romantic partner if he/she needs the other person to “complete” him/her.  We must feel whole & complete within ourselves.  And the good news?  We already ARE whole & complete.  It is simply a matter of recognizing that and truly FEELING and EMBRACING it.

Let me break it down for you.  YOU ARE LOVABLE—just as you are!  And you, more than anyone, deserve your own love.

As Marianne Williamson says, “Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.”

I truly believe that our purpose on earth is to LOVE.  To awaken to the fact that who we are is LOVE.  Love is the core of our beings.  Love is our true essence.  This means that we are here to love others, and also to love ourselves.

If we are love already, how can we help but to love ourselves?

Loving yourself does not mean you will suddenly become vain, arrogant, selfish or self-centered.  In fact, loving yourself will help you to love others even more!  The kinder we treat ourselves, the more energy and joy we feel inside.  Then the more joy & love we want to share with others.  The more compassion we have for our own selves, the more compassion we can have for others.  It’s a beautiful upward spiral of positive, loving energy!  Loving yourself is the best gift you can give to others.

If you’re struggling with self-love, I suggest you make a list of 3 (or more!) great things about yourself. If you don’t know, ask the people who love you.  Remember, you are lovable.  Regardless of what you’ve done or haven’t done.  Regardless of how you look.   No matter who you are, you are lovable.  You are YOU.  And you are a beautiful, loving being.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I ask you, beg you, to please do something nice for yourself!  To celebrate YOU and the beautiful LOVE that you are.

Attend my very special Self-Love Empowerment Workshop w/ Guided Imagery on Friday, 2/26, 7:30-9:30 pm at Urban Yoga, 3225 N. Central Ave, Phoenix, AZ!   E-mail me for more details Click Here

By Courtney Long, MSW, LC, CHt, Self-Care Specialist

Or….”I do my best caregiving when I give myself short periods of rest.”

Have you taken a break lately? If you are employed, did you know you are entitled to two 15 minunte breaks per day? It is LAW. You know why? Because your employer wants you to be productive and creative! Allowing yourself to step away from your work helps you to clear your mind, re-energize your body, and allows for creative thoughts to flow through. Ever feel stuck on a project or problem, yet as soon as you stepped away from it, the creative idea or solution came to you?

During your break, do something fun or energizing. Take a short walk, listen to some uplifting music, chat with someone, read some jokes, just do something uplifting! Something that will re-fill your cup.

If you are a caregiver, when is the last time you had an afternoon to yourself?  Not to run errands, do the grocery shopping or pick up medications.  I mean, to YOURSELF.  To relax, have fun, do something that truly rejuvenates you.   When’s the last time you had a lunch date with friends?   When’s the last time you saw your favorite movie?

Did you know you need time to relax and rejuvenate on a regular basis?  I don’t mean once a month, or once a year.  I mean several times a week!!!!

Regular breaks and time away are ESSENTIAL, not optional…in order to stay healthy and be refreshed.  Trust me, you’ll be a much better, happier and more effective caregiver when you give yourself regular, short breaks.  Consider Adult Day Health Services or Home Care Services to schedule in guaranteed breaks each week.

Want more ideas?  Send me an e-mail at Courtney@CaringforYourSpirit.com!

Enjoy those breaks!!

By Courtney Long, MSW, LC, CHt, Self-Care Specialist