What are YOU willing to claim for your life in 2011?

Beyond the typical New Year’s Resolution weight loss or fitness goals….What is it that you crave? Is it inner peace, self-acceptance, or a deeper spiritual connection? Is it a sense of community, financial abundance, joy, being in the present moment, or truly enjoying time spent with family or friends? Perhaps it’s finding a volunteer position or a special way to help others. Or perhaps it’s creating pockets of time for your own self-care and self-pampering.

Far too many of us create unrealistic New Year’s Resolutions based on what we think we “should” do, and we end up forgetting about them one month later. Or we make an attempt yet then feel terrible shame when our resolution is not achieved. Sadly, our inner critic tries to use this as further evidence that life is no good, or that we are no good. It’s time to let go of all “should’s,” pain, guilt and shame. It’s time to be realistic and compassionate with ourselves!

Beyond any “should’s,” what do you want? Thinking big, what do you truly crave? (Please pause and reflect)

Whatever it is…are you willing to invite it into your life? Whether you feel you deserve it or not, are you willing to expect it and look for it? Simply set the intention “I am willing to invite ____________ into my life in 2011!” Then support yourself in whatever ways possible—with affirmations, a vision board, posting a picture or the word around your house, etc.

In an effort to be realistic and compassionate, the next step is to break the big intention (ex. joy) down into small mini-action steps. What is one tiny thing you can do in January to align yourself with your intention? If your intention is joy, make a list of all the tiny things that bring you joy… if it’s watching a sunset, playing with your pet, watching a funny movie, helping someone, listening to music, etc. Then, schedule one of these activities into your calendar! Take advantage of your clear, wide-open new calendar, and schedule at least one joyous activity for each month of the year. Make appointments with yourself to experience Joy. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did!

As we welcome in the start of 2011, enjoy all the goodness coming your way!

For those in Arizona, stay tuned to the LGBTQ Caring Warriors Meetup page for a group vision board party, as well as “Is 2011 Your Year?” free clinics at REI in Tempe and Paradise Valley. http://www.meetup.com/lgbt-caring-warriors

Written by Courtney Long, MSW, LC, CHt, LGBTQ Empowerment Coach, LGBTQ Caring Warriors, part of Caring for Your Spirit, LLC. http://www.lgbtqcaringwarriors.com

One reason is we get caught up in party invitations, gift giving, all the “busy-ness” and “to-do’s”.

Self-Care Challenge:

Reflect on what the holidays mean to you. Whether it’s peace, stillness, a time to express love, spiritual significance, etc… what do the holidays mean to YOU?

Then, make sure your time and energy are dedicated to what’s meaningful to you. Say “no” to extra commitments and activities. Saying “no” to them creates more space for peace and love within YOU.

For many, the holidays are a timing of grieving–for loved ones who have passed, relationships that are no longer. The holidays aren’t “happy” for all of us. And that’s ok! Just allow for what you feel, moment by moment. Reflect on happy moments of the past with gratitude, not regret. Also, if you’re up for it, find ways to create new happy moments for the present. (ex. for those in Phoenix, the Desert Botanical Garden’s Luminarias are such a holiday treat!).

We must CREATE opportunities for stillness and quiet. Light a candle, listen to nice music, take a long hot bath. Self-Care is important any time of year–and ESPECIALLY during the holidays!!!

Enjoy your Self-Care….

What if we put that same time & energy into exploring our BRILLIANCE?   Then how would your life be?  We’ve all got it…that beauty, light, courage, strength, creativity, fabulousness, etc.  And I believe we have an OBLIGATION to allow it to shine!

Shining Our Light, Standing in Our Power

So here’s my challenge to you….

Today, how will you allow your BRILLIANCE to shine through?

-Courtney

First in the series w/ Courtney Long, MSW, LC, CHt, Self-Care Specialist

Sponsored by Area Agency on Aging: Region One, Foundation for Senior Living, & Caring for Your Spirit, LLC

To sign up for future teleclasses, call or e-mail Francyne at 602-297-1840 or fespinoza@fsl.org

Click Here for Flyer

We Want to Hear Your Stories!!!

MgBoals & Associates, a leading provider of
long-term care insurance, has started a blog
dedicated to telling the stories of caregivers
and offering resources to better help those
caring for a loved one.

If you would be willing to share your story,
we would like to speak with you.

Please call: 602-370-4065      If leaving a message,

please leave your name, phone number or email and when is the best time to reach you.

Or, you can e-mail the above information to Maryglenn Boals

Read the Blog—www.mgboals.wordpress.com

Click to See Flyer

MgBoals & Associates
P.O. Box 44858 Phoenix, AZ 85064 (602) 418-5069
www.mgboals.com

In the midst of a breakdown, it is important that we allow it to happen, rather than fight it or try to shut down.

Most of us have had the experience of holding back our emotions for such a long period of time that when they finally come out, we have something resembling a breakdown. For a certain period of time, the overwhelming flood of feelings coursing through our bodies consumes us, and we stop functioning. Often, these outbursts take us by surprise, welling up within us as we drive to or from work, watch a movie, or engage in some otherwise mundane task. We may feel like we do not know what triggered us, or if we do know, it does not make sense of our overpowering emotional response. This is because we are releasing feelings that have accumulated over a long period of time, and whatever inspired the release was just a catalyst for a much larger, much needed catharsis.

When we find ourselves in the midst of such an experience, it is important that we allow it to happen, rather than fight it or try to shut down. Wherever we are, we can try to find a private, safe place in which to let our feelings out. If we can not access such a place immediately, we can promise to set aside some time for ourselves at our earliest possible convenience, perhaps taking a day off work. The important thing is that we need to give our emotional system some much-needed attention. It is essential that we allow ourselves to release the pent-up emotions inside ourselves so that they do not create imbalances in our bodies and minds.

When you are feeling better, make a plan to find a way to process your emotions more regularly. You can do this by employing a therapist or making a regular date to talk to a trusted friend. Journaling can also be a great way to acknowledge and release your emotions, as can certain forms of meditation. Making room in your life for tending your emotions on a regular basis will keep you healthy, balanced, and ready for life.

Click here for DailyOM website

Breathe:  52 Oxygen-Rich Tools for Loving and Living Well with Autism

Gayle Nobel’s “Breathe” is a much-needed breath of refreshing air!  In this uplifting masterpiece, Gayle provides 52 simple, effective tips for reducing stress and living life to the fullest.  Whether you are caring for someone with autism or not, you are guaranteed to feel uplifted and energized—starting with the very first page!

As I read “Breathe,” my heart and soul were deeply touched by Gayle’s wisdom, joy, inspiration, courage and strength.  I am amazed and humbled by her honesty—that some days she could not find any gratitude or see any light at the end of the tunnel.  And that is ok!  We are not strong every day.  Gayle is real and honest, and all the while inspires others.  It is refreshing to know we can experience the ups and downs of life…to admit we have downs, and to find new, encouraging ways to move through them gracefully.  “Breathe” helps us to embrace the fullness of life—ups, downs, and all the moments in between.  It truly is about embracing life, regardless of what situation we’ve found ourselves in.

As a Self-Care Specialist who supports giving, caring people (many of which are parents, caregivers and helping professionals), every day I see the signs of overgiving and burnout.  My clients experience exhaustion, frustration, depression, anxiety, insomnia, health issues, etc.  I highly recommend “Breathe” as the perfect antidote to the inevitable stress that can come with caring for others.

I have seen firsthand the transformative power of Gayle’s oxygen-rich tools in my clients and myself—including “Gratitude in Action”, Laugh”, “Live Now”, and so many more.  Each tool is simple, do-able, and yet so meaningful and powerful.  Each one takes only a moment and can easily fit into a busy schedule.  One of my favorite tools is “Rest”.  As Gayle points out, it is essential to pause and rest at least once each day, even for just a moment.  This provides us the fuel we need to continue going and helping others.  One of my clients recently began pausing for 2-3 minutes in between her busy tasks to close her eyes and breathe.  Her stress levels have come down tremendously!  As Gayle teaches us, small moments add up and can truly transform our lives in beautiful, positive and surprising ways.

Reading “Breathe” is easy to fit into anyone’s busy schedule.  You can be uplifted in a matter of moments with one easy-to-read, short story and oxygen-rich tool.  Or, you can sit and read several at a time.  In today’s busy world, where fewer of us have time to sit and read, “Breathe” is a wonderful answer.  Despite my busy schedule, I found myself craving a moment to sit and read even one chapter of “Breathe”.  And each time I did, I felt uplifted, energized, and had a refreshing perspective on life.

I cannot thank Gayle Nobel enough for creating this divinely inspired, uplifting book and toolkit.  It is a must-have, not only to read once, but to refer back to any time you need a change in perspective.

Review written by Courtney Long, MSW, LC, CHt, Self-Care Specialist, owner of Caring for Your Spirit, LLC   www.caringforyourspirit.com

For more information, go to: http://www.autismwithattitude.com/

Also, check out Gayle Nobel’s inspiring Blog:  http://www.autismwithattitude.com/blog/

Hope you enjoy…. click here to read the Daily OM “Rescuing the Rescuer”

Many blessings!

Courtney

Notice how different those 2 types of giving feel. Giving authentically tends to feel uplifting, empowering, energizing. In contrast, giving out of “obligation” or “should” can feel heavy, dreadful, and often leads to anger, frustration, loss of control or even resentment.

Which way would you rather feel? Which type of giving would you like to do?

How have you noticed this in your life? I want to hear!  Leave a comment below. 

-Courtney

In my life mission of empowering Caring Warriors to engage in Tender Loving Self-Care (TLsC), the biggest brick wall I come up against is GUILT. Many caring people, parents, practitioners, caregivers and others WANT to engage in nurturing self-care. They want to get enough sleep. They want to have a massage once a month (or once a week!). They want to relax once in a while—or, better yet, on a regular basis.

Yet what holds them back? GUILT. Whenever they do something nice for themselves, which sometimes requires them being away from their loved ones or work, they feel guilty, selfish, or just plain bad.

Since when does being healthy, energized, and kind to ourselves make us bad people? I often wonder…where did this belief come from? Are we really bad people at the core? My opinion is NO WAY!

Or…are we good, caring, loving people who sometimes make mistakes? Good people in a process of learning and growing, which sometimes seems beautiful, and sometimes looks and feels pretty rocky? What if we are good people who sometimes speak in anger when our own needs are not being met? What if our value cannot be labeled a simple “good” or “bad” yet we’re still deserving of self-care anyway?

Do you really believe you’re not worthy of self-care? Not deserving of your own time and attention? Not deserving of your own love? That’s the message you unconsciously send to yourself every time you skip a meal, skimp on sleep, automatically say “yes” to others without evaluating your own needs, time & energy, or settle for something less than what you want or need.

At what point can we stop trying to prove our own worth by being overly kind and accommodating to others? At what point can we take care of ourselves too? Who are we trying to prove our worth to anyway—others or ourselves?

The moment you begin to value yourself, life starts shifting in major ways. You begin to set boundaries around your time & energy. Your guard does down a little. Frustration, tension and resentment start to melt away. Your heart fills up with love, acceptance, maybe even joy. You feel healthy & energized. You even begin to love and appreciate others more. Taking care of YOU provides you all the energy and love you need to care for others freely, happily—and without resentment.

Valuing yourself isn’t about being selfish or egotistical. It is about proper understanding of who you truly are.

Did you know that you are already perfect, whole and complete just as you are? You don’t even have to DO anything to prove this. Just by existing, just by being your wonderful self, you are perfect, whole and complete! And if you’re a Caring Warrior, even better. You already have an incredible amount of love in your heart. And you understand an incredibly important lesson…that by giving, we receive. For Caring Warriors, it’s just a matter of balancing that giving with some self-care as well!

Did you know that you are a child of God/Universe/Spirit? (or however you refer to the energy that created you) You were created for a reason! And if your creator is perfect, and you are part of it, then you must be perfect too! Dr. Wayne Dyer reminds us of one of his favorite affirmations:

“I am a unique portion of the existence of God. I originated in Spirit. I am a Divine creation, a unique piece of the whole.”

He further states, “You’ll never find the light by analyzing the darkness. Nor my own magnificence in analyzing what’s undistinguished about me.”

Who are you? What are your strengths? What is distinguished or unique about you?

What are you here on this earth to do? To be a loving, giving person? To touch lives? To make the world a better place? Well if this is the case, then you are certainly worthy and deserving of Self-Care! Do you know it? Do you feel it? If not, I’d love to chat with you.

Empowering Affirmations:

“I am worthy & deserving of Self-Care”

“I make this world a better place just by being my loving, caring self!”

“I am worthy & deserving of life, love and acceptance”

“I am perfect, whole & complete, just as I am”

“I am a divine being having a human experience and loving it!” (affirmation by Sohini Sinha,
Divineexpression.com)

“I am worthy of God’s loving and abundance.” (affirmation by Sohini Sinha, Divinexpression.com)

“I love and approve of myself!” (affirmation by Louise L. Hay)

-article by Courtney Long, MSW, LC, CHt, Self-Care Specialist

Owner of Caring for Your Spirit, LLC