When is the last time you gave yourself a hug? Have you ever looked into the mirror and compassionately said, “I love you” to yourself?
When is the last time you did something kind for yourself? Such as going to your favorite coffee shop, or having an entire afternoon of complete relaxation or fun.
When it comes down to it, do you love you?
Almost all religions and spiritual practices emphasize the importance of love and compassion. In Christianity, the Bible teaches “These things I command you, that ye love one another” (John 15:17). The Bahá’í teachings state that Bahá’ís should love all humans regardless of religion, race or community, and also should love their enemies. Buddhism teaches the importance of loving-kindness and compassion; love is unconditional and requires courage and acceptance (including self-acceptance).
Most religions do a wonderful job of teaching us to love our neighbors, family, friends, and even our enemies. But what about loving ourselves?
Most of my clients find it quite easy to love others. They care for their children, partners, parents, coworkers, neighbors, etc. They are always giving and loving others. Their biggest challenge is in loving themselves.
My biggest question is—how can we give love to others, if we don’t know love within ourselves? It has been said many times that a person cannot be a great romantic partner if he/she needs the other person to “complete” him/her. We must feel whole & complete within ourselves. And the good news? We already ARE whole & complete. It is simply a matter of recognizing that and truly FEELING and EMBRACING it.
Let me break it down for you. YOU ARE LOVABLE—just as you are! And you, more than anyone, deserve your own love.
As Marianne Williamson says, “Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.”
I truly believe that our purpose on earth is to LOVE. To awaken to the fact that who we are is LOVE. Love is the core of our beings. Love is our true essence. This means that we are here to love others, and also to love ourselves.
If we are love already, how can we help but to love ourselves?
Loving yourself does not mean you will suddenly become vain, arrogant, selfish or self-centered. In fact, loving yourself will help you to love others even more! The kinder we treat ourselves, the more energy and joy we feel inside. Then the more joy & love we want to share with others. The more compassion we have for our own selves, the more compassion we can have for others. It’s a beautiful upward spiral of positive, loving energy! Loving yourself is the best gift you can give to others.
If you’re struggling with self-love, I suggest you make a list of 3 (or more!) great things about yourself. If you don’t know, ask the people who love you. Remember, you are lovable. Regardless of what you’ve done or haven’t done. Regardless of how you look. No matter who you are, you are lovable. You are YOU. And you are a beautiful, loving being.
In honor of Valentine’s Day, I ask you, beg you, to please do something nice for yourself! To celebrate YOU and the beautiful LOVE that you are.
Attend my very special Self-Love Empowerment Workshop w/ Guided Imagery on Friday, 2/26, 7:30-9:30 pm at Urban Yoga, 3225 N. Central Ave, Phoenix, AZ! E-mail me for more details Click Here
By Courtney Long, MSW, LC, CHt, Self-Care Specialist
