One popular teaching states “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”  And we all know the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” or more simply “Treat others as you wish to be treated.”  These are beautiful, valuable teachings.  However, I believe we have misinterpreted them, to our detriment.  Those teachings do not state “Love your brother while completely neglecting yourself.”  The Golden Rule does not say “Treat others great, yet treat yourself very poorly—worse than you would ever imagine treating anyone else.”  How many times have I heard people say they are their own worst critic—that the voice inside their head is crueler to themselves than they would ever be to another human being.  Wow.  Where did we go wrong?

Nowhere in those teachings does it state anything about neglecting your own self for the good of others.  How could neglecting our own self be good for anyone?  If we are depleted, we have nothing left to give!  In fact, the teachings imply that we should have the same level of love and respect for ourselves as we do for others.  What if we rewrote it as “Love your neighbor, and love yourself.”  Or, better yet, love yourself first, so you have love and joy to share with others.  Remember, you cannot give or pour from an empty bucket.  Your bucket must be filled with self-love, self-respect, self-nurturing and self-care.  Then, you can go about sharing and giving of yourself to others.

I want to hear from you:  How have these teachings impacted your life?  Do you find it is easier to love & nurture others than to love & nurture yourself?  How are you willing to reinterpret these teachings?

And even more importantly: How are you willing to commit to your own self-care and self-love today?

Please share your thoughts!

By Courtney Long, MSW, LC, CHt, Self-Care Specialist